And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Only a mothe r could love this liver
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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