Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sorry about my life...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
