Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
