Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
