Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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