She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
