Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
