they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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