i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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