Redeem this text for a blowjob
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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