She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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