I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
