dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
