Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
