Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
