The maid of honor just puked.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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