I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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