he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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