I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
