Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
