she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
