we're chasing vodka with high fives
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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