my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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