I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
