I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
