you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
