u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
