I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
