I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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