Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
