you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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