Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
