ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what day is it and did you see me today?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
