I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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