I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
