He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
