i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
