I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
