So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
