Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
and she was petting her beer can
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm both gender and math confused
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
