trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
