it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
