When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Two words: nipple clamps
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