We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
