We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
