the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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