I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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