I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Are we still banned from the library?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
