Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
