You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
