so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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