he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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