we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize