why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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