were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
