It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
