I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think my moral compass just broke
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
