White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
