I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
