its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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