puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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