ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
