were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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