and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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