The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
