The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
