I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
