I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
