she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
