ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
