May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
