I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
